This year’s World Suicide Prevention Day feels different for me. Earlier this year, I lost my cousin to suicide and even now, those words are difficult to write.
Like many families who experience a loss like this, we’ve spent months trying to make sense of something that feels impossible to understand and asking ourselves the same questions over and over again – what if he’d felt able to say he was struggling? What if he’d told someone how he was really feeling?
The truth is that we’ll never know the answers. But I do know that his death has left a hole in the lives of so many people who loved him, not least his wife and children but also his wider family, friends, colleagues and countless others whose lives were touched by him. Suicide doesn’t just take one person, it leaves behind a trail of grief, sadness, confusion and unanswered questions for everyone who remains.
Many people who are struggling continue going about their daily lives, working, smiling, joking and looking like they’re coping. On the outside everything can appear fine, while on the inside, they’re fighting battles that nobody else can see.
World Suicide Prevention Day is a reminder to us all of the need to talk. It needs to be ok to say, “I’m not coping.” People need to feel safe sharing that they are struggling without any fear of judgement.
As a society, we have a collective responsibility here. Check in on people even if they seem ok and don’t be afraid to ask, “are you really ok?” A conversation may feel small, but it could mean everything to someone who feels alone.
At Space & Time, we care deeply about creating a culture where mental health is taken seriously. We have trained Mental Health First Aiders across all our offices who are there to listen and support. Support doesn’t just come from trained individuals, it can come from managers who take the time to listen, from colleagues who notice when someone seems withdrawn or doesn’t seem themselves. It can come from each of us creating a culture where talking about mental health is not seen as a weakness but as a normal part of being human. Our employee resource groups also play a role here, creating communities and spaces for experiences to be shared and voices to be heard.
We don’t need to have all the answers. We don’t need to know exactly what to say. Sometimes, simply listening can make all the difference.
So today, whether you’re struggling yourself or concerned about someone else, please remember that you do not have to carry things on your own – reach out and talk to someone, check in on each other, ask twice if needed. Conversations can save lives.
If sharing my family’s experience encourages even one person to seek support or check in on someone they care about, then something positive can come from an incredibly painful loss.
